This afternoon I was dismissed from Jury Duty …. again ……… After 35 years or so of faithfully doing my civic duty I have yet to be chosen to sit on an actual Jury. In fact, today was the closest I have been, actually was called into the courthouse, was one of two remaining jurors left to be questioned (voir dire … I know my stuff) when both the attorneys announced they were happy with their jury, and the last remaining two of us were let go. Most of the people in the jury box were glaring daggers at us, they already knew they would be there for a week to 10 days, and, after a day and a half, we two were off the hook! And they were envious that we got to go home.
They have no idea how envious, or just plain jaloers, I was of them being allowed to stay. Every time I’m called for jury duty, I get so excited. In anticipation I choose my outfits for the week, have an early the night before, put on make up the day of …… all in anticipation of either being called to be on a jury or to meet my future ex-husband in the Juror room. Don’t laugh, it could happen …. it just hasn’t. Surely, in a room full of my peers, there’s bound to be my future intended. I mean, there’s like 100 of us in the room, a few of these people change daily, how can there not be someone for me??
Perhaps it’s the ambience, or lack thereof, in the Juror room. That must be it! While searching for Mr. Future Ex in the room, and I had many hours to search, instead I found some interesting signs in a dull and bland room. (By the way, when I was doing my on-line instructional, they showed these lovely rooms with tables filled with coffee and muffins …. “oooh”, I thought, “they’ve jazzed up the juror rooms since I was last there”.) In fact, as I happily trotted off to Jury Duty yesterday morning, casual-yet-trendy-comfortable, mascara and lipstick on, I didn’t even stop by Starbucks on the way, nor did I have any cereal, knowing there was coffee and muffins waiting for me. I had a lot of expectations for this poor room.
So back to looking around the room …… the same old (now sunken in) blue cushioned seats in a square, no arms on the chairs, so nothing to lean on or separate me from the guy on my left crunching hot chili cheetos and chocolate, or the snoring guy on the right whose head I cautiously watched anticipating it falling onto my lap at any moment. No coffee, no muffins, no nothing attractive at all. I was dying to take a photo of a few of the signs around, but one of the signs said “no photographs” and I certainly didn’t want to be outside the courthouse in the looooong line of alleged criminals (or wanna-get-off alleged criminals.) . So I wrote them down ….. starting off with my absolute favorite one (bearing in mind we earn $15 day for Jury Service, not including the first day, that one’s unpaid):
- PLEASE CONSIDER DONATING YOUR JURY FEES TO WORTHWHILE PROJECTS. (a box of brochures underneath suggested donating to a juror room beautification program) Oh …okay ….. and then what? Are you going to bring in coffee and muffins, colorful throw pillows or some nice art to look at? Are you going to throw out that 2008 Vogue magazine and perhaps add a couple of daily newspapers? How much could all of that cost? You haven’t been able to save up for these in the two years since I was last here? Not even a bottle of anti-bacterial cream by the door? Yes, oh yes, pick me, pick me, I want to give you a donation!!
- JURORS, PICK UP AFTER YOURSELVES! What, no please or thank you???
- NO TALKING ON CELL PHONES. Hahahahaha (the lady opposite me juggling two phones!!)
- LIST OF RESTAURANTS NEARBY Restaurants, restaurants!! Puhlease. Oh McDonalds, Subway, Quiznos, Kentucky Fried Chicken, oh okay, I see, those restaurants. Of course. By the way, the other courthouse I could have been sent to is in the trendy Music/Media District with the funky lofts and great restaurants everywhere, and an occasional Britney or Lindsay siting. And probably my future ex.
And that’s it for artwork. The tv blasts commercials or the weather, we’re not allowed to watch “court tv” or Judge Judy or Divorce Court. But we can, and do, watch Oprah. A great relief after 4 hours of weather in Los Angeles (previously written about here as the most boring job to have in the world, a weatherman in L.A.).
And that was my two days of Jury Duty in the Los Angeles Court System. No trial, no husband. Boring as usual, but I shall remain optimistic for the next time I get called on to do my civic duty. You never know.